How Sherlock Can Ease John Into the Truth About His Fall

Martin Freeman as John Watson in BBC Sherlock looking puzzled at a laptop screen

Why are there new posts on Sherlock’s old blog? And why are they being posted from all over the world?

It’s a clue, John.

Let’s face it, Sherlock (and Mycroft) should be dropping a few subtle warnings to John bfore springing the big surprise, so below are my suggestions.

Top 10 Ways Sherlock Holmes Can Warn John Watson That He’s Still Alive

(or mess with his mind at the very least)

10. Send John a Mafia Wars Mystery Gift on Facebook.

9. Send John a link to your Pinterest page of all the places you’re traveling while underground.

8. Go retro. Send photopostcards of all the places you’re traveling like those ruddy garden gnomes. Be sure to always wear the coat and scarf.

7. Post photos you (or Mycroft’s bevy of beautiful assistants) take of John while you’re keeping an eye on him, post them on Facebook and tag them so he keeps getting the message “Sherlock Holmes has tagged you”.

6. Have Netflix start delivering movies to John where they dig up the coffin and find it empty (or with the wrong body). There’s at least a year’s worth.

5. Begin having your new wardrobe delivered to Sherlock Holmes c/o John Watson. (Hey, that coat and scarf got all messed up in The Fall, so you’re going to need something for when you get back to London.)

4. Kibbitz on your blog about all the screw ups Anderson and Donovan are doing on their cases. RSS feed them to John’s phone.

3. Reprogram John’s phone to personalize your text messages. Start sending him a LOT of texts. (Note: I probably wouldn’t use the same one as Irene unless you really want to keep John celibate while you’re gone.)

2. Start a Who Was Shagging Last Night daily tweet for Anderson, Donovan, Lestrade, Molly, Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft, Seb, and John. Have them all come from the YouToldMeToNotBe Dead account.

1. Send John a photo on his mobile of you and Irene together on the famous nude Paradise Beach, Mykonos, Greece. (I’d personally recommend the “two thumbs up” gesture and a big smile with the text reading “I finally had dinner with her! Wish you were here.”)


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