There’s no way my real fans could be that stupid, John.

I’m convinced it’s all a plot by Moriarty’s remaining minions to discredit you. Would you hurry up and get them all locked up soon, please.

Right, my theme music for today is “Bad Day” by U2. My data server is running slow (i.e., losing packets faster than reality “star” looses clothes). I had to do a business luncheon where I was informed by someone who gets paid a great deal more than I and has benefits that she never finished basic maths but still got her degree and a job with the college and that she does “everything on Facebook” and believes the college should just teach Facebook and get rid of the “useless online classes.” I discovered that Great Expectations beat out Sherlock for several Emmys. (Really? Really? Are the members of the American entertainment industry so shallow and ill-educated that they *still* think that just because something is historical or Dickens, it’s inherently superior? Oh, wait. They actually Have Categories for “Reality” shows. Sorry. Silly of me to expect better.)

And as the icing on the cake, I found myself conversing with someone who genuinely believed that Steven Moffat was a “bad writer” and a “misogynist and homophobe.” I sincerely thought he was being sarcastic until I noticed the flecks of spittle forming foam on his lips. I thought he was an isolated mental case until this article from WhatCulture.com came through my Mofftiss newsfeed entitled “In Defence of Steven Moffat.”

As if Mr. Moffat needs any defence! (yes, Yanks, that’s a perfectly acceptable spelling)

Then I read it. “You might want to put that cup back in its saucer now.”

Right. Excuse me while I make certain all the booby-traps are set (because there are certainly a lot of boobies running around now, apparently) and then plant some more killer rose and blackberry hedges around my property.

Someone actually tweeted a death threat to Martin Freeman’s wife, Amanda Abbington, because she defended Moffat? Seriously? Right. Let’s not threaten the large, burly man who could probably knock you into the next U.S. election year with one punch. Let’s threaten the pretty, slender, young woman who probably weighs less than a fully-loaded backpack. Obviously, the tweets were by men who wanted to advertise publicly the inadequacies of their sexual organs and their brains.

Now I know I’ve done my fair share of ranting about cheats and shortcuts taken by Mr. Moffat in some of his scripts (and his series), but that’s because I think he’s a Damn Good Writer and I get a bit peeved when he succumbs to time pressures and gives me less than F*#&%ing Perfect. But I would never even dream of suggesting he’s anything but a Brilliant Writer (and man, judging from his interviews).

As for the argument that he’s a misogynist, while I admit I’m not a fan of Irene Adler being portrayed as highly-damaged, psychopath who thinks the best way to use her obvious intelligence is by renting her body and mind as disposable playthings to the highest bidder (or to put it another way, I don’t like her “Because you cater to the whims of the pathetic and take your clothes off to make an impression. Stop boring me and think. It’s the new sexy.”), it is the character he created for the episode and he did a damn fine job of it. The character is consistently sassy, sexy, and well-written.

The episode is fun and original (which counts for a lot in my book), as dense as Christmas pudding, and still maintains the spirit of the original. And as the WhatCulture post points out, Moffat not only works closely with some very intelligent women, but has portrayed some seriously strong and intelligent women in his other work (now if he could just stop thinking they have to be a bit bad to be smart, I’d be happier, but that’s just my own personal prejudice).

I’d say “Sherlock and Watson” except they are both equally brilliant! Thank you for your genius, gentlemen.

And how can anyone with two functioning brain cells actually accuse Moffat of homophobia? His business partner and one of his best friends is openly gay! He’s written characters who are not merely bisexual, but omnisexual! And, to the best of my knowledge (I admit I haven’t seen all of the Who episodes in their entirety), he’s done it without putting them in drag, which is saying a lot given the British entertainment proclivity for drag. This is like saying President Barack O’Bama is not black because he speaks educated American English and doesn’t have “gangsta tats.”

I’ve decided the only way to deal with this it to put these cretinous imbeciles in the same classification as the “Moon landing was faked,” “Bigfoot is real,” and Oliver Stone, and laugh. (The laughing will commence as soon as my blood pressure drops to safe level.) The best way to stop this nonsense is by calling it nonsense and laughing at the perpetrators until they skulk away in humiliation.

“Why can’t people just think?”

Will now attempt to go back to work and stop looking at the Costco ad for a year’s supply of emergency rations for my bunker…(unfortunately, unlike Montaigne, I don’t have a chateau in the more rural and scenic portions of France to hide in until the lunacy settles down.)