It Can Be Very Confusing, Sherlock

Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes in the BBC series Sherlock lying on his sofa in pjs and dressing gown looking thoughtfully  at the ceiling

So if “Let’s have dinner” is a euphemism for sex, does that mean “Let’s go to bed” is code for “I’m hungry?”

A bit of flash fic

English Can Be Tricky

by J.H. Watson

“Sherlock, let’s have dinner.”

“John, I thought we cleared this up before. While I’m flattered by your interest—”

“No. No. What are you talking about? I’m just suggesting we go out and get some dinner.”

“Oh. I thought ‘let’s have dinner’ was a euphemism for sex.”

“Why would you think that? Oooh. The Woman. That’s was her pick up line.”

“Her what?”

“Her pick up line. It’s what she said to try to go to bed with you.”

“She never said anything about a bed.”

“Yeah. Bed was probably optional with her. She’d just have you on the desk, against a wall, on the floor. ‘Going to bed’ is another euphemism for sex, Sherlock. That wasn’t what I was suggesting.”

“Oh. So you’re just suggesting we go out and have fun together.”


“So it’s a date.”

“No! It’s not a date!”

“But you said a date was where two people go out and have fun.”

“A date’s different.”


“You aren’t serious? Sherlock, a date’s where you’re trying to get off with the other person.”

“Have sex?”


“So we’re just going out to get something to eat?”

“Right. The dim sum place is open until 2 a.m.”

“And then what?”

“And then we come back here and go to bed.”

“John, while I’m flattered by your interests—”

“Sherlock! That’s not what I meant!”




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