It’s An Experiment, Sherlock

Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes with a stupid expression on his face

OhhhMyGurrrhd, John! U drurrgghed Meh Kaffee!



by J.H. Watson

~450 words


Sherlock was bent over his microscope. “John, where’s my coffee?”


John Watson set a cup beside Sherlock’s hand on the table that had been converted into a chemical research station. Steam rose from the cup along with the smell of first class Kona coffee beans perfectly prepared. John watched Sherlock sniff, look up from the scope, and reach for the cup. John hovered as Sherlock took a sip. John asked, “How is it? Need more sugar?”

“No.” Sherlock took a large drink and held it in his mouth a moment before swallowing. “Not the usual brand.”

“It’s a new specialty brand. They were giving away samples at the market. I picked it up while I was doing the shopping. Like it?”

Sherlock finished the cup. “Not bad. I’ll have another cup.”

John smiled slightly as he took the cup Sherlock held out so peremptorily to him. He went into the kitchen and prepared another cup. John put it into Sherlock’s waiting hand when he returned.

After a moment Sherlock looked up from the scope and took a sip. “It tastes slightly different.”

“Does it? Maybe it’s from sitting in the pot.”

“No. More sugar.” Sherlock shoved the cup towards John and went back to his scope. When John returned, he placed the cup beside Sherlock’s scope and then stood there watching.

“John, why are you hovering?”

“Am I?”

“Yes. It’s annoying. Go away.”

John moved to the desk in the living room and opened his computer. He began typing in his own bizarre technique, but Sherlock was aware John was still watching him. He went back to his scope. A few moments later, Sherlock looked up sharply, a startled expression on his face.

“Something wrong?” John asked.

Sherlock frowned. “No.” He looked back into the scope. A moment later he looked up again, his face pale and puzzled.

John typed something into the computer as he asked, “What are you seeing?”

“Nohhh-thhh—” Sherlock stopped in mid-word. He shook his head and blinked. “Jawhn, summm-thinnz whrung.”

John typed something else. “Tell me what you’re seeing? Can you tell me what you are seeing?”

Sherlock began swatting at the air in and staggering around the room in an uncoordinated fashion. “Bhattz! Bhattz ehvreewharz!”

“Oh, good. What color are they?” John continued to type on the computer.

“Wahhhtz gurring awnnn?”

“Lestrade asked me to help study a new drug that’s hit the streets and is spreading on the universities. I know how it works on an average mind so I had to try it on a superior one.”

“Yooo dur-rugghed meh?”

“It was in the sugar. Relax. It’s all scientifically controlled. You’ll be fine as soon as it passes through your system. Now describe these bats.”



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